Taylor Swift Is a Slut-Shaming Purity Princess
Dear Taylor Swift,
I’m sorry that the boy who is undoubtedly your eternal soul mate is dating Satan and not you. What does this boy see in a girl who wears high heels, short skirts, and is the cheer captain? Doesn’t he know that those are warning signs of a morally depraved female? Clearly you, a glasses-wearing, socially outcast, real teenage girl who presents herself modestly, are more deserving of attention from boys. You are obviously cut of a superior moral fabric than that harlot. Doesn’t she know it is not a woman’s place to embrace sexuality? She could end up like your friend Abigail from that other song, who had sex with a boy and therefore RUINED HER ENTIRE LIFE AND LOST EVERYTHING. Poor Abigail forgot that sexual purity is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD and now that she’s not a virgin, her moral character has been crushed into little tiny granules of dirty whore and all of the Jesus-glue in the world can’t save her. I sincerely hope that this boy whom you love so wholesomely and purely will one day see that he does indeed belong with you. Someday he’ll realize that women who don’t hide their vaginas away from the world like the precious, secret treasures that they are are trashy, mean, and shallow. It’s a fact of life. She is an evil temptress and he deserves better.
Best of luck,
Sally
